No You Cannot Workout In Your Apartment

Here I am, going about my weeks pumping up with my new workout regime, feeling self-motivated and mildly proud of my transition away from running when BAM, the world conspires against me.

By the world, I mean my neighbor. Let’s call him Gonzo. Tuesday night, I got home from work to find a note under my door. My first thought was “How quaint, a note from someone, slipped under my door. Kinda cute.” Then I read the letter, and it was not cute. Although it wasn’t altogether mean, it was disconcerting.

Hi Melanie,

I realize I may be reaching the wrong apartment as you are almost always super quiet, but this morning there was a loud thumping noise (as if someone was jumping in their apartment) from 7am to about 8:15. This cost me a couple hours of sleep. My apology again if this wasn’t you. I hope all is quiet on my end.

All Best,



I am Gonzo, you will not workout.

Hm. What to do? My plan was to be honest, and slip a note under his door in response.

Hey Gonzo,

The only thing I can think of is that I did a workout DVD this morning, but I didn’t start until 7:30, and I’ve been doing it for weeks without disturbing you. Regardless, hope you still had a good day.



P.S. You are fantastic on the muppets.

P.P.S. I will not requite you with my phone number and email address because clearly this system of dropping notes under doors is much more efficient.

Okay cool, no big deal, a day goes by, Gonzo doesn’t write back, and one day at 11am I break out Jillian Michael’s DVD for a mid-morning butt-kick sesh. I’ve yet to be able to finish this workout and have skipped the last 2 circuits everytime, but this time was looking like a victory!


There it was. Gonzo, furiously knocking on my door, ready to be all muppety in my face. I opened the door and received a grown-man-but-really-i’m-six-years-old-and-no-you-can’t-use-my-green-crayon tantrum.

“This is soo inconsiderate, it’s just, it’s just inconsiderate. Can’t you join a gym? Can’t you workout on the roof?”

Well, wow. I haven’t been confronted like that in a long time. I listened, I sympathized, and I made an attempt to reconcile with compromise. (that is a kickass rhyming sentence). We ended with the notion of my trying to keep my workouts to the evenings only. Certainly NOT early in the day according to Gonzo, and I would certainly not entertain the idea of working out on the roof. (But really, when it’s not so hot out, I could try it out?).

Since this confrontation, I haven’t done any workouts in my apartment. I’m actually scared to. And while I wish I had a stronger backbone to stick to my routine despite the Gonzo attack, maybe I am shaking his world upside down with my jumping jacks?

I need to find a solution. What to do… what to do…

11 responses to “No You Cannot Workout In Your Apartment

  1. amandasperspective

    Does he live below you? Or next to you? Does he ever leave his apartment? I say keep working out, and do it in the evenings. For one hour a night he can deal with a little thumping and if he can’t he is free to talk a walk around the block. Plus – you could be doing something more indecent with all that thumping and that would be quite an inappropriate complaint, wouldn’t it?

    P.S. did you actually write him that note?

  2. My son had an issue with a neighbor, too. He was riding his bike trainer. Happened it was over the other apartment’s bedroom and while it wasn’t thump, thump – it bothered the neighbors.

  3. OK. This is ridiculous. I live on the second floor of my apartment building and jump all over the place to Jillian Michaels and it’s never hurt anyone. I used to have a DRUMMER living in the apartment below me. A DRUMMER…and this is Albany.. you live in NYC– it’s loud- he needs to get over it. It’s your apartment- It’s not like you’re playing bagpipes and it’s for ONE hour of the day. Tell him to stop sleeping his life away and invite him in to sweat it out to Jillian Michaels. THERE.

    On a less angry note: I’m having an amazing grass giveaway on my blog:

  4. That’s pretty ridiculous. It’s like the guy is some sort of karmic astrologist or something. What a lame-o.

  5. This is hilarious. Annoying, but a hilariously told tale, I mean. Also, doing workout videos in a teeny studio is also funny. Just sayin’. 😉

  6. wow! that’s super lame of gonzo! i would tell him to mind his own beeswax. honestly, i can’t imagine that a few jumping jax next door could be enough to wake a person out of sleep (and enrage them THAT much!) he needs to suck it up!! besides, all this exercising you’re doing, you’ll be buff enough to take him 😉

  7. I can understand if it was so early in the morning. But I think after 8 or 9am is fair game! That is the part of apartment living. I’ve lived next to dogs, people with loud cars/motorcycles, loud kids… etc.

    I would think at 11am you should be able to do what you want! We’re in a recession, not everyone can jump to join a gym (me included). You put up with his horrible nose and he puts up with your working out. Juuuuust kidding! 😉

    I wish I had advice to offer you, sorry!

    My cousin and her kids actually moved (in the same complex) to the bottom floor so her daughter (who is into ice skating and dance) could practice w/o having those issues.

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