Tag Archives: upper body strength

I Can’t Do Real Push Ups

Small fact about Mel: I am the weakest female I know.

I’d say I know maybe about 500-600 females. If I were to arm wrestle all of them, I would lose every single time. I would probably injure myself in the process. I might also cry a little on the inside while laughing it off on the outside. How does one wipe away inner tears? It’s very difficult.

I don’t know how I evolved to be such a physical pansy, but somehow it happened. The way I recall it, when I was 12 or 13 I used to be able to do 10 pull ups on a pull up bar no problem. Then what happened? Did my upper body strength melt and drip in a breadcrumb trail behind me Hansel and Gretel style? Did my ass grow faster than my arm muscles? Is my ass that big?

Whenever I think about strength training I usually imagine a nice little bubble in which I start going to the gym and lifting weights three times a week while my body physically changes before my eyes. Yeah, bullshit. While musing about all of the possible ways I fail to maintain my strength, I decided I would just start doing push ups and see what happened.

First discovery: I can’t actually do push ups. I get in position, lower myself down, and sort of struggle for a minute to push back up before my stomach hits the floor completely.

Solution: I started with modified push ups. Or as I call them: girl push ups.

I don't look nearly as serene when I do it.

Every day for the past five days I’ve been doing two sets of ten pushups. The first day I was hurting right away. I’m a little unsure if my form is right (are my hands in the right place relative to my shoulders, etc.), but it’s amazing how much stronger I already feel–they are getting easier!

Soon I will try to do a real push up again and see how I fair. Big things.